I'll take what you don't want

The Abraham and Lot story always amazes me primarily because of Abraham's unselfishness. He's the one who takes Lot with him, yet when the blessings begin to come he offers Lot the choice piece of property. Of course Lot chooses the prime piece of real estate and Abraham gets what's left. It is important, I think, to realize that Abraham wasn't just being magnanimous. He was trusting in the promise of God. When God says He is going to bless you, then it doesn't matter if you get the leftovers, God is going to bless you.

God had also promised Abraham to curse those who cursed him, and although I wouldn't necessarily think Lot cursed Abraham, he sure didn't have Abraham's best interest at heart; he had his own. As the story goes on we learn that the chickens do come home to roost. Lot winds up in a real mess in Sodom and Gomorroh, being captured in a war zone and losing, it seems, everything. Still, Abraham rides to the rescue just like in a Hollywood action adventure movie and saves the day, bringing back Lot, his goods, and the women.

I am very much like Lot and very much unlike Abraham many times. I struggle with this little thing called pride and envy; not very good qualities for a Christian, much less a pastor. What kind of things do I envy? Oh, let's see if I can think of something.... like the professor I worked for in seminary who became a Vice President of the Seminary and Academic Dean. He is 1 month older than me. Now I loved that man and he deserved the position, but sometimes I thought, "why can't I have a position like that?"

Then there's the guy I graduated from seminary with. He went to a big church in the middle part of NC and became senior pastor. Multi-staff, multi-million dollar building, every ministry on earth, etc., etc. I went to the middle of a tobacco field in Franklin County to a 60 year old facility and about 40 folks on the average Sunday. He and I went through the PhD. program together and he drove a nice vehicle while I drove a 12 yr old Toyota pickup. Now I love that guy, and he deserves that church. He's doing a great job and the Lord is blessing, and I hope He continues to bless, but I sometimes thought, "why can't I have a church like that?"

Then there's church people. I see their nice homes, but I live in a parsonage. I see their cars, but both mine have well over 100k miles each. I see them go to the beach or the mountains twice a month, but I only get maybe 1 or 2 weekends a year with my family. I see them enjoy their holidays, but I am expected to be at church services every holiday. I see their kids doing everything under the sun, but my kids support daddy being the pastor. I see them hang out with family and friends they have had all their lives, but my family is 3 hours away, and I have left my friends so many times I've lost count. Then I think, "why can't I have those things too?"

But then I read about Abraham and think about the first time I read his story so many years ago. I thought, "Lord, I want to have the faith of Abraham. I want to be blessed like Abraham and leave a legacy of faith like Abraham." Guess what? In some measure God answered that prayer. I did get to leave my family. I did get to leave my home. I did get to leave my job. I did get to go to Egypt, errr, Franklin County. I did get to see others seemingly get the best parts while I went off and took seconds. All the while God says, I will bless your descendants. Guess what? Abraham was 100 years old before he saw the first child of promise. Guess what? Abraham would never see the true blessing of descendants as God promised, at least not until after his death and he entered into the presence of the Lord.

That's tough sometimes. We like to see things now, but faith does not look to what is, it looks to what will be, and holds on. It is not blind faith, because it stands on the Word of God. In his lifetime Abraham saw his descendants by faith, not by sight. "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7 Abraham saw the stars of the sky and knew his children would number more than that, but God only gave him Isaac to hold in his hand. But that was enough.

Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, or experiencing the sins of pride and envy, I go back to the promise of God; I go back to that prayer I made so many years ago; I go back to the character of God and remember all He has done for me, then I look forward in faith and move forward with hope.